Reality Check

Its funny actually: I typically am an optimistic, glass 1/2 full, cheerful guy and man it’s like the 1st ‘negative’ review I spew out I get somewhat of a backlash 🙂 HAHA. Backlash is probably an overstatement. Looking back on it, I think I stick to my guns on my thoughts on this week’s Terminator episode but man was I a harsh Buzzkillington! (Sidenote: I don’t think it was any 1 thing about the episode but all of those things I griped about piled into 1 episode that simply removed the luster of the show for me. But don’t get me wrong, I’m still in it to see where they’ll take it and am enjoying the show.)

I think it was honestly the shocking news of Heath Ledger’s death that put me in such a funk. I’m not one to be enamored with celebrities and such. I wouldn’t even say I’m a huge Ledger fanatic. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed many of his films and own a bunch of them, I suppose it’s just so unexpected. I got a call from my brother and my cousin that night both with the: DUDE DID YOU HEAR ABOUT HEATH LEDGER?!?! I’ve got 2 texts since then from other friends with the same shock and disbelief. I think it’s a testament to my ease at taking things for granted sometimes. I think it stirred me up a bit. I keep bitching about how old I’m getting and focus on what I’m losing instead of what’s coming up. And no, I don’t dwell in the past or relive glory days of college or any of that but I think I began letting my mind begin creating a room and bookshelves and DVDs and a Lazy Boy with a big screen TV and surround sound that I could retreat and go and loose myself in the very near future. I think I was beginning to take stock in the now and past so that I could easily talk about ‘those good ole’ 20s when I was young and fun before the 2 kids and blah blah blah.’ I think it can be far too easy to build a box and live within it instead of passionately and exhilaratingly living the life you have been given. I know nothing, not even playing my new Gretsch 🙂 gives me greater joy than playing with my daughter now! Even laying on the sofa watching the same Bike episode of Charlie and Lola is better than whatever you can offer me to go do!! The fact that I have to share that love and joy with a son in a few months is actually freakin’ me out but I know that if this is a glimpse of heaven now then my capacity for enjoyment will just have to get a bit bigger because heaven’s going to explode with a daughter AND a son! My wife loves me more than anyone in the world. She’s always stood next to me. She’s freakin’ hot as the day is long as well. I have the problem of parents and in-laws who love and adore their children and grand-children and want to spend time with us! I have friends intimately involved in our life and the rearing of our child. And I have a blogging community! YOU! Hahahaha!

I think hearing of Heath’s death really scared me (also a 28 year old with a daughter) into all the amazing things I would miss out on if today I died. I mean I know Paul said: “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” Truly Heaven is going to be a place again where my capacity for joy is going to have to explode to be able to experience it but I’m just too selfish (if that’s the right word) for that time to be now.

Please remember the Ledger family, his daughter and Michelle Williams. May we not forget that he was a person too. May we treasure the time we are given. May we make others rich by our relationship. May we spread love and grace. May we be there for one another when life really sucks.


3 Responses to “Reality Check”

  1. January 24, 2008 at 2:14 pm

    wow man…great stuff and dead on…

    side note a new gretch? and why didnt yopu call me to hook you up on the price?

  2. January 24, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Dude I didn’t even know. I need to put the story of that up, it explains the ferocious awesomeness of my wife 🙂

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