Reality Check MATE! – A Worship Confessional for March 30th

It’s our 2nd service, the one at 10:45.
I’m watching my team being led by another worship leader.
I’m watching our congregation being inspired and challenged by God’s Word by another pastor.
I’m feeling incredibly small and insignificant.
I’m feeling incredibly special and part of one of the most significant things that happens during the week!!

You see, we had a worship leader candidate in this weekend as well as an Associate Pastor from our parent church downtown. I knew I had driven to 36367 Perkins Rd in Prairieville, but it was the wildest sensation with these strangers up front! I wanted to hate our candidate because he was more skilled on the guitar as me, incredibly comfortable up front, led with conviction and passion, interacted with the congregation with a corporate prayer, led my team with ease, has a great voice, and is 6 years younger the me!! AHH THE SHAME OF IT ALL! Then all during the message I kept thinking the pastor was familiar and it wasn’t until the end when someone leaned over and whispered, “Hey doesn’t he remind you of Andy Stanley?!?!” HOLY CRAP HE DOES!

It was the immensely heavy feeling that morning in the back of the room as I saw different people filling the roles we…let me clarify and speak for myself here…I can cling on to so tightly because it’s what I do. And I’m supposed to be finding someone to replace me 🙂 A time that was an incredibly shrinking moment that also was the greatest, deepest, fullest breath of air knowing, knowing that God is in control with or without me!

So what do you do? Any other people leading worship feel the same tension? (See I’ve already gotten better! I’m not calling you by your job!) It’s like, I know this doesn’t shirk the responsibility of coming in with our hearts prepared as well as skillfully prepared for worship. But yet I also know that I am just a piece in God’s plan. This may sound ludicrous but it’s really incredibly satisfying. It also kind of makes my head hurt. I think my perception of God has gotten a bit bigger which be default makes me a little dizzy HAHA!


6 Responses to “Reality Check MATE! – A Worship Confessional for March 30th”

  1. March 31, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    There are 2 types of worship leaders in the world:

    1. Those who say they struggle with jealousy of other’s musical talent.

    2. Those who are liars.


    It sounds like you guys got a really great candidate.

  2. 2 tam
    March 31, 2008 at 2:50 pm


    I’m married to a worship Pastor who WANTS to find a replacement. Although he feels God has called him to this current role now – his heart is in the technical part of it all. Should I be speaking for you inWorship?

    Anyway, off topic there…it is very easy to white knuckle our comfort zones. At least it is for me. But you came to a realization that God is in control and capable with or without you (me, any of us)

    And sorry about him being 6 yrs younger. It sucks getting old eh?

  3. March 31, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    HA! Thanks for that Billy!

    Tam, your hubbie IS inWorship? That just makes sense, inProgress, inWorship. I never put the 2 together 🙂

  4. 4 tam
    March 31, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    Yup – I’ll admit it 😉 Our kiddos are “inCahoots” No lie! Check’em out!

  5. March 31, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    I wouldn’t have thunk that the candidate was younger than you. 🙂

  6. March 31, 2008 at 10:45 pm

    There is age and then there is maturity. When we can still learn from others – no matter what our age – then we are still maturing. Which to me is a sign that God is working on us or in us – either is good. I don’t think we can compare people or positions to each other always in an apples -to -apples way…so don’t do that even to yourself. I will say your comments show maturity and an openness for growth which is really meaningful to me and I think a great witness to those who follow you (and they are many).

    I agree with you about Andy Stanley Jr – those were my words exactly. How refreshing was he?!!!

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